Getting too comfortable?

It’s a big milestone in any new relationship: entering the Comfort Zone. You’re there the first time you two rent a movie in sweats instead of dolling up for dinner, when you do something silent and separate (like work you’ve brought home) together, when — perhaps most romantic of all — you both do…an errand. No, really: that’s when you truly start to feel cozy and couple-y. When he’s seen you without makeup in your avocado masque, without your contacts, you know you’re in A Relationship. So, paradoxically, it’s “exciting” to be boring.

At its core, “letting yourself go” is normal, both psychologically and physiologically. “When you’re wooing each other, you work and plan to try to please. But when you roll over and your partner is next to you, you stop thinking you have to seduce each other and cultivate your rapport,” says Sandra Leiblum, PhD, professor of psychiatry and Director of the Center for Sexual and Marital Health at Robert Wood Johnson Medical School in Piscataway, New Jersey. “And once you’re past the courtship phase, other priorities become pressing: work, the household, children, extended family. People are genuinely stressed, low on time, and distracted from each other.”

But not forever. Spouses and long-term partners do have a tendency to “let themselves go” over time. Cozy can become routine, sweats can become unsexy - not to mention never used for actual sweating, say, in a gym — and sex can become…wait, what sex? And of course, the pounds can pack on. Studies show that men and women gain six to eight pounds after getting married — and that’s just in the first two years. Overall, eventually, “boring” can become, well, boring — and possibly unhealthy, for both you and your partnership.

Sound familiar? Sure. “Letting yourself go” is a reality, but it doesn’t have to be a permanent problem. Whether you’re already married, living with your partner, or in a long term relationship, here are 5 ways to get yourselves back.

Take small steps. “You need very little to get started on fitness,” says celebrity trainer Harley Pasternak, author of 5 Factor Fitness. “You don’t have to join a health club or buy thousands of dollars’ worth of equipment. You don’t need to say ‘I’m cutting all carbs for six months’ — that’s what makes people quit after two weeks.” (Some studies show that up to 60 percent of people who start new exercise regimens quit within six months.) Start gradually by adding walks or simple at-home workout tapes to your routine.

Exercise together. In an Indiana University study, couples who worked out together were more likely to stick to a program than were individuals who worked out without their spouses. Bonus: if you’re looking to steam things up elsewhere, then working out together is a two-fer! “Sexual tension can arise when partners work out together: there’s hormones, blood pumping, physicality that maybe they haven’t had in a while,” says Pasternak. “And they feel more confident about themselves — that also renews attraction.”

Schedule sex. Sound unromantic? Quite the opposite, says Laurie Mintz, PhD, associate professor of counseling psychology at the University of Missouri-Columbia and a psychologist in private practice. “The notion of having sex at the end of a long exhausting day can feel like one more demand,” she says. “But when you schedule it, you make time for it — and you look forward to it.” Plus: scheduled sex gets you back into the swing of things, leading to…unscheduled sex.

Think outside the bed. “The fact that sex slowed down after a few years didn’t bother me as much as the fact that it always happened in the same place. I was sad to realize how little thought or planning we were putting into it,” says Pauline of San Leandro, California. “I told my husband I’d rather forego sex than have it be just reflexive, last-thing-to-do-before-falling-asleep sex. So we instituted a rule: we have to have NON-BED sex — doesn’t matter where, just as long as it’s not in bed — at least once a month. I highly recommend it!”

Take a break from each other. The time you don’t spend at work or with the kids doesn’t have to be 100 percent Together Time. Rather, carving out even a little time for reading or other wish-I-had-time-for-them projects can give you more new things to talk about, enhancing the time you do spend together. “Even a half-day ‘vacation’ can make you miss each other!” says Maryann Troiani, PhD, a clinical psychologist in Barrington, Illinois.