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Garry is a young black professional, Florida State and UNC Law grad, and attorney currently residing in Miami, FL.

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Are you Successful?

October 2nd, 2007 • Related • Filed Under

I remember watching an episode of Oprah a few years back and one of her audience members said:

“Success is worthless if I can’t live the life I want to live”

I have often thought about what she said and have kind of refashioned the idea for myself. Success, for me, is living the life I want to live. Why is this important? Well, I was talking to a dear friend yesterday at about 10:30pm. We had both settled in for the night, though she had more emails to check and billable hours to log. I was readying for bed. She was tired and weary from what amounts to 65-75 hour work weeks at her medium-sized law firm. I, on the other hand, am not allowed to work more than 40 hours each week at the State agency I work for. She asked me what I had done today and looked at me with amazement when I answered: “I went to work, came home, took a nap, went for a run, had dinner, and went to choir rehearsal.”

I reminded her that we both made choices. She chose the longer hours at more than twice my pay for the partnership track and glamour of practicing at a firm. I chose to have my weekends and evenings off (I leave work at 4pm), make less, get more sleep and have more time to myself. Neither choice is necessarily better or worse on its own. What destroys me about my friend is that she just bought a 2,000 sq. ft home she hasn’t found time to enjoy. She has only sat down and watched television on her $3000 Thomasville leather couch twice. She has a garden tub and jacuzzi in her bathroom, but wants to “wait until she and the house are settled” before she enjoys it.

success22.jpgSuccess is living and enjoying your life now. I think she would be far and away less tired and stressed if she took the 30 minutes to watch Girlfriends or take a nice bath. Life, living, success, peace, happiness - these things are not in the future. They are now. Not when you get your tax return, not when you pay off your debt, not when you retire, not when your kid turns 18. Now! Happiness is in the journey. The moments. In a favored Hallmark card I received Maya Angelou writes:

“Every moment is a place you have to see.”

Are you successful by your own standard? Have you chosen what you want for yourself? Are you living the life you dreamed? Even if you aren’t living that exact dream you are getting there, so are you enjoying the process? You should! There’s so much to see, so much to love, and so much to be thankful for right now.

 

Viewing 9 Comments

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    That's some good stuff right there. I'm on my way to living my life the way I want.

    Last day of this God-forsaken job is Wednesday! Can't wait...
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    That was great GB. Thanks.
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    I think that I am successful in a way because I got into grad school and have my first two degrees. I have a future. But at present I don't feel successful. maybe I have things that academics, professors, and students think are important but those things don't indicate success to me. I am not living the life I want to live. I don't have a marriage, kids, a house, or even a car. I can't even have a cat because I have to live by the landlord's rules. I have an enormous amount of debt so I can't even buy a car or a condo. I don't have the personal relationships I want. For a while I didn't have the time or money to be healthy.

    But now that I have some more money I am less stressed. I can take more time to exercise, relax, and buy healthy foods. I will have more time to stay in contact with my friends and to enjoy myself. Those things are important for a happy life and they are more important to me than my success as a student.
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    When are some lawyers and other professionals going to realize that it really isn't twice the pay when you factor in everything you have to give up for that salary?
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    Wow! This is something that I may want to re-read each week. I've been struggling with the desire to go to law school AND the need to actually have a life. Its articles like this that help make life a little easier to figure out.
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    Your point is very well taken and presented. It's sad that many people don't realize that until it's to late. I'm currently in a position now that pays me far less that most people would put up with with the credentials that I have and the educational level I possess. However, I'm content because I've raised my kids to adulthood and i enjoy what I do and don't need a large amount of money to be happy. It's all about being content and happy------I see people everyday in the "rat-race" to be seen and to impress others based on thier income and are some of the LONELIEST people I have ever seen----but they make the big bucks and have the esteem position somewhere.
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    When I do graduate I'm not going to be one of those academics or professionals who need to publish all the time, do countless presentations and talks, and be involved in everything. I want to have a life because I think I gave up so much of it for school. I want my professional life to be low stress instead of trying to keep up with the Joneses.
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    I loved this definition. Yes, I guess I am. That was beautiful GIB. Always.
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    Very interesting. I'm 25 and have done most of the things I planned to do. Got a degree, running an IT business, got a car & paying off for a house. Still I don't feel successful. I spend most of my time taking care of the house and the business and haven't caught up with old friends for a very long time. I'm not always happy and my health has been neglected.

    I wonder what other 25 years old are doing with their lives. I know a friend of mine who I think is truly successful, she's earning about 80k a year, got almost everything I have yet always have the time to enjoy her weekends and catch up with friends.

    For me, I still aim to grow my biz and buy our 2nd house. I'm not married, no kids and I think of these as obstacles to my goals. Call me superficial, articial and not living for the moments, but I rather be rich & successful then one day then realise "Crap I haven't been catching up with friends" THAN just tagging along in life then grow old with regrets that I haven't accomplished all I could have.

    At the moment I think I can improve my life, be even more successful if I do try to make some time to exercise and catch up with friends once in awhile.

    I think there isn't a right way to live. It's whatever you're happy with. Whatever you've been planning, stick to it and make it happen. THAT's success.
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