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A young, black, professional, Spelman College and UNC Law grad, and new mommy who practices law in the Chicago suburbs.

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bitch fest

November 27th, 2007 • Related • Filed Under

bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch!

Does that word even mean anything anymore? Does it mean anything to you when you hear it? How about when you hear it on prime time television, not once, but five times in the span of an hour. Last night my husband and I watched The Game followed by How I Met Your Mother- two completely different shows, casts, and story lines that both felt the need to repeatedly use the word “bitch.” After The Game, my husband referred to the show as ignorant. And after How I Met Your Mother, he stated that it’s still ignorant when white people do it. And it is. The Game

In both shows, the contexts of how the word was used were essentially the same: calling a man a bitch and then calling a woman a bitch. During The Game, the ex-girlfriend called Derwin “Malik’s bitch” and then there was an exchange of “bitches” between the ex and the new girl. During How I Met Your Mother, the female personal trainer said “do I smell a bitch in my gym,” referring to Marshall being a punk for not wanting to do 100 push-ups. Then Marshall’s wife called the trainer a “bitch.”How I Met Your Mother

Oddly enough, when the word was said during How I Met Your Mother, it was actually funnier. The unexpectedness of the phrase and the people who said it (white women who at first come across as nonabrasive) made it even more entertaining. That’s unfortunate to admit because the truth is, when I heard the word on The Game, it was not as funny because I can’t even count the number of times I’ve heard or seen black women call each other a bitch or a black woman roll her neck and call a man someone else’s bitch. After all, that’s our stereotype, so to see it depicted over and over again on TV is just as bad as seeing naked women in rap videos. It’s just not a good look.

But the bottom line is, no matter who is saying it, I’m tired of hearing the word bitch when I turn on the television. The more I think about having kids, the more I figure I’m just not going to let them watch television at all. I feel like I want to protect them in their own little bubble against the harshness that has become “entertainment.” I wouldn’t want my five-year old watching it and repeating it to her friends in kindergarten and I wouldn’t want my sixteen-year old repeating it and mimicking the conversation with her boyfriend. I don’t want that for my future kids, so in an effort to be the change I want to see in this world, I can no longer support these shows or any show that uses derogatory language. Hopefully this writer’s strike will give television writers a chance to cool down and write more appropriate and less stereotypical scripts.

Viewing 7 Comments

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    We're just a desensitized society. Nothing affects us and nothing is off limits anymore.
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    It seems to me that the word is okay when a woman calls another woman a bitch. But when a man uses the word, he has to be referring to another man who he thinks is a punk. A man doesn't get away with calling a woman a bitch though. I equate bitch with the N-word. It's okay between black folks, but no one else has permission to use it. So a man can't use it against a woman, but a woman can use it against another woman. Or women also use it in a jokey way, which is also found a lot on TV and in movies. I personally don't call my friend's bitches...it's just not classy.
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    Growing up, calling someone a bitch gave cause to throwdown. It was a fighting word, toe-to-toe with saying "Yo Mama". Nothing friendly or funny about it, it's meant to demean, to chastise, to inflate and infuriate. Some may say, 'you my nigga' and give dap, but not many will welcome, 'you my bitch!"
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    Totally agree ETS.
    A few weeks ago, I attended a bible study on "reverence" of God, His name and His Word. Without going into detail (it was a 5 hour study across 5 weeks), the opening of the study shocked me: Essentially, we are insensitive to the words spoken by others. As a Christian, up until that Bible study, If someone threw out any curse, even the obvious blaspheme, I didn't really sweat it. I was very complacent about what I let myself hear. That isn’t to say I’m going around telling everyone to stop cursing around me, but I take more notice of what is said, and I also take notice of the language used in the programs I watch. And like Kimberly, I stopped watching the shows that are just verbally abusive. But it seems it takes some of us a jarring or revealing experience(for Kimberly, the shows she speaks of above, for me, a bible study) to really take notice.

    Here’s an interesting question: What about shows that use “fake” or made up curse. For example the new Battlestar Galatica use the word “frak” in place of curses…should I allow my future sons and daughters to watch episodes of the show? It’s obvious to me and others what the word replaces. Likewise what about words like “dang” and “crap”? what is acceptable and what isn’t? When is it acceptable? (ironically that last question is probably what got us to the point of hearing the “b” word 5 times in an hour).
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    I've been trying to find some references on black women hating the word bitch. I pissed a rasta girl off (she didn't say anything about it to me - she mentioned it to the Jamaican guy I'm dating) when I just used the word in a sentence. I didn't call her a bitch, just used the word. BTW, I'm white, so does that make it worse? I certainly didn't mean to hurt anyone. I know alot of deragatory words and don't use them, had no idea about this. Just found out about monkey not too long ago. I was talking about an animal to a black person and they got offended, do we need to use a different word for monkeys now? I'm not being flippant, I'm serious. I watched a documentary on PBS about Penn State's newspaper and it used "Queen of Spades" as a caption to black people playing spades. Now I know you probably shouldn't call a spade a spade. It's a minefield out here. Is there a good website that can inform me of any other words I should refrain from using?
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    It is interesting that I run across this topic. While I have been referred to as a "Typical Bitch" by a man who just weeks prior expressed his love to me both verbally and with actions. What was surprising was to hear him reach to the level of ignorance that will allow him to address me in that manner. It hurts and to be honest I am completely hurt and pissed about it. Basically, he was unable to commit fully and thus got caught in a lie or too. After expressing that we needed closure and I need to remove his belongs from my home, he resulted to those words. To give him some credit, he apologize. However the apology lack him taking full responsiblity for this actions and lack of respect for a woman and fellow African American and woman who have the same challenges and his mother, his sister and eventual his daughter. But, what that really showed me was his true character. Basically, we do hear women refer to friends in that manner in a joking way, but it is truly unacceptable and when you here it from the man you love and claims to love you it hits you where it hurts most, the heart. I forgive him for he is human, but I believe that his lack of character along with some other issues has made this union less of what I desire. I pray for him....
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    I am having a dilemma with my son’s school. Can someone please help me? My son was suspended for calling a female afraican american staff member a bitch (my son is 17), when I spoke to the associate prinipal he stated that it was a sexual and racist connacation. He stated that because a “bitch” is usualy refered to as a female it makes it a sexual connatation, and then he stated that if you call a female african american a bitch, its the same as calling her the ‘N’ word. I was dumbfounded as I never heard this. I told him I found that interesting, and I would do some reseach on it. He told me it is widely know. I called my sister and asked her (she is married to a african american male), and she told me that she has never heard of itand neither had my brother- in- law and the school is making it up. Anyone else heard of this? Please email me your opinions at tiffanishupe@yahoo.com. Thanks.
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