A letter to the Republican nominee:
Dear Sen. John McCain’t,
Good day! Let me first introduce myself. I’m an American, period. Yes, I was born and raised in the good ole U.S. of A. I have been pretty happy here, but can’t necessarily say that I am consistently “proud” of my country. It’s cool, though. I must say that I have been following this election from it’s birth (actually conception, but metaphorically, I fell asleep for awhile).
Congratulations on reaching puberty! Boy does time fly! I do feel like I’m in junior high with the class presidential election in full swing! By the way, your running mate sounded like Summer from Napoleon Dynamite in her convention speech and I was feeling like Obama was Pedro. She was really obnoxious. You really know how to pick ‘em! I really didn’t gel well with the popular crowd and pom-pom girls, even in my small town. I can’t wait for Obama’s ‘Napoleon Dynamite’ to bust a move and get the crowd fired up.
I must say that I am terribly shocked that you ended up being the Republican nominee for President of the United States. I, for sure, thought Huckabee would get the anointing. I really just wanted to pass out laughing when Katie Couric said, “Today President Huckabee announced…” President Huckabee, that’s hilarious. Well, you have prevailed. You are the ‘Big Elephant Maverick’ and could possibly be my next president.
Are you serious? Really? Why do you want to do this to the country that my ancestors built? We have had a 3rd grader’s life of policies that just did not work for 98% of Americans. They failed us. Why do you want to make us even worse off? You voted with the current president over 90% of the time. You graduated third from the bottom of your naval academy class. You, and the departed Jesse Helms, voted against MLK day. You dumped your physically challenged wife for a barbie doll beer heiress. Additionally, YOU didn’t love your country until you were deprived of her company. Again, are you serious? Do you think you can win by suddenly hijacking Obama’s “change” anthem or appealing to small town America? I admit, it’s clever. This ’small town America’ thing may get you some votes (and boy have those people been duped).
Well, I assume that no matter what happens, half of America will be depressed on November 5th. I think I will be numb for several years if you do slide in. However, if you do slither in, please ask Colin Powell and Condi Rice to help you out. Put Denise Huxtable’s Navy hubby and that Steele guy from Maryland in your Cabinet. Find a way to “abolish” Clarence Thomas (and O.J. if you can) and include your “black” child in family get-togethers and family photos. Give us something to smile about.
Lucky for you, all of this you really don’t have to worry about because in the end, Pedro wins the election!
Best regards,
An American, period
P.S. You are Uncle Rico.
Kimberly
What were you smokin before you wrote this? But seriously, too funny. Amen sista. I think many can relate. And if I can add a P.P.S.- Mr. Presi-don’t, please don’t let this war go on for 20+ more years or I will have to take my family and move to Switzerland. Specifically my son and nephews who I pray will never ever have to fight over some damn oil.
September 11, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Kimberly
Just realized it was September 11th…a moment of silence please
September 11, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Jacqueline
…no matter what happens, half of America will be depressed on November 5th.
Say That!
September 11, 2008 at 2:17 pm
paydayloanadvocate
Does the media’s reporting favor Barack Obama? Jonah Goldberg of the National Review Online explains that this bias is probably the result of reporters playing nice with the frontrunner. As Goldberg puts it, “most of the reporters covering these campaigns want to be rewarded with White House correspondent jobs.†They might simply want to ensure that they’ll have easier access to who they think will be president. John Harris and Jim VandeHei of Politico have another view. They claim that the Project for Excellence in Journalism (funded by Pew Research Center) found that six out of ten John McCain stories were negatively slanted. Moreover, Obama has had more than two times as many positive stories published about him than McCain. In a video opinion piece, VandeHei believes that the GOP is blaming the media because McCain’s campaign has started to dwindle. “There’s always pile-on at the end of a campaign,†VandeHei says, but in this case, it’s the policies and campaign strategies that have led to McCain’s difficulties. The media loves a frontrunner, and they favor momentum. It’s the kind of momentum quick cash loans can give your wallet when you need it. Will someone other than the frontrunner here bring America lasting change?
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November 4, 2008 at 2:37 am
abercrombie
No matter what happen,we love our countrues.
November 28, 2008 at 9:07 pm
PS3
Do you mean countries? If so yes we do love our countries!
November 29, 2008 at 1:21 am
free fta satellite keys
Has read with the pleasure, very interesting post, write still, good luck to you!
December 4, 2008 at 10:24 am
jammer
great post
we r with u
March 18, 2009 at 4:15 pm