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Recently, I spoke with a friend that I’ve known since high school. She shared with me her excitement at being promoted to vice president of her company. This is no mean feat for a black woman under 30! I’m really proud of her and know how hard she works to get noticed, reach the heights of achievement that she’s set for herself and deliver results in the workplace.

Now notice I said I’m happy for her. She’s following the path that she set for herself long ago, and no one can follow that path but her. I’m not envious of her success in the least. Because I have my own goals that I’m pursuing, and I’m sure they’re not congruent with who she is either. What’s key here is that both of us consciously decided what success was to us, and that’s the beacon we’re following to get to the end result.

How often do young professionals define what success means to them? I’ve observed that until a person climbs that first rung on the ladder of their career, one generally assumes that success is equivalent to a certain title or position, a salary within a specific range and the material trappings to go with it. But once you’ve attained those things, what’s next? Do you just continue to reach higher and higher, one-upping yourself at each turn? When do you realize that you’ve succeeded and that you can pat yourself on the back?

Defining your success is different than finding your purpose, in that your purpose is the foundation and overarching reason behind what you’re doing. You define the goals, aspirations and other attainments that indicate your progress in fulfilling your purpose. Your purpose is something that can never be completed; you can be successful at more than one goal that contributes to you fulfilling your purpose.

So you can see how striving for someone else’s success will not serve you well, just as not knowing the reason you’re striving to begin with is detrimental to your efforts. When you’re working toward – and ultimately meeting – the success you define for yourself, that state is more satisfying than any luxury car or corner office. Unless, of course, that car and that office are within your definition of success.