Tonight at dinner, in my familiar seat in the breakfast room, remote to my left, and the table mats positioned so I that I don’t leave any prints on the glass table, I made a decision. Rachel Maddow, of MSNBC, was talking about the bailout, and whether it worked. In my mind, occupied by the committee of constant thought, I started thinking “one bad report on the stock market doesn’t equal failure. This might take time. I can’t do this. I can’t be worried and listening and hearing about this all day. What am I doing?”
And, I turned off the television. And, I started looking at the food on the fork before bringing it to my mouth. Then I started paying attention to the beige center of the plate, becoming increasingly fuller as the fork kept passing between it and I. I looked at each grain of rice, and I payed a little more attention to all of the flavors on the plate: the squash, the brussels sprouts, the fire-roasted tomatoes, the way brown rice looks different than white rice. Plumper I think. This dinner was really good. And, then I washed it down with orange juice. High pulp. I liked this. Silence. Appreciating the moment. Paying attention to what’s in front of me.
Moments later, the message I heard yesterday occurred to me as I moved my whites from the washer to the dryer. We were encouraged to really sit down and decide what we believe. The current climate of fear, worry and uncertainty was a perfect opportunity to be clear about how we would approach each new day. Each new report. Each new political attack. Each pundit’s spin. Each State budget crisis. Each fallen bank. Each church’s dwindling tithes and offerings. Each trip to the gas station. Each “each.” Who is our Source? Where do we live? Where is our treasure? Whatever the answers, they are ok. The important thing was to be clear about the approach to the each-es, and who or what we would listen to.
I decided to change what I was listening to. The television had to go off. You see, the bank is not my source. My employer is not my source. My 401K is not my source. They are channels, but not the Source. I do not live in lack. I do not believe in limitation. I am directly connected to infinite possibility and capability. So as much as I find Colbert, Mathews, Herbert, Krugman, Ford Jr., Stewart and Cramer informative and occasionally funny, they tend not to remind me (or align me) with what I believe.
I do believe I have to be practical, informed and reasonable during this time, but, I don’t have to dwell on the information. I don’t have to read every headline or email forward. I don’t have to watch every debate. I want to set my mind on the things above, the things that are higher, and of good report. Things that are lovely and good. My treasure is not here; it’s not at Wachovia; it’s not at Lexus; and it’s not at Century 21. The Kingdom (the abundance, the inheritance, the fullness) is within me and surrounding me.
It’s in all the proof I have that right now, with fingers to the keyboard, freshly showered, tummy full, writing and reflecting about what I love and enjoy, I have everything I need to be happy and every reason to be grateful. The future and speculation are traps. The past and old choices are gone. The only thing I have is the now. I can worry from now until Saturday about my financial future, and it will do nothing to change my financial future, only rob me of the opportunity to choose peace, and gratitude right now. And so I rest in my truest beliefs. My belief that in spite of all that may be appearing around me, my choice and my truth are a lasting, incomprehensible peace. Someone pulls out in front of me – peace. I hear unfavorable financial news – peace. Unexpected bill – peace. Prospect of some emotional, professional, or capital loss – peace. Layoff – peace. No matter what happens I’ll say, believe and affirm, “I can’t wait to see what blessing God has in store!”
Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. put it well, “the non-violent person is the one who receives violence and gives peace.” Violence does not have to be physical. The idea is to receive discrimination, receive deception, receive pain, receive worry yet give peace. BE peace. I think it shall require dramatic change on my part. A shift in who I talk to, the things I say, where I go. But I want to choose the road less traveled, because I do believe it will make all the difference.
Copyright © 2008, Garry Bevel
