As you go about your day considering your accomplishments and opportunities, chores and responsibilities, successes and failures, what do they tell you about yourself? How do you feel when you are done thinking and evaluating the events of your life? Are you relieved and encouraged? Are you frustrated and confused? Do you feel proud? Do you feel discouraged, hopeless?

The reason I ask is because last night I had one of those “Aha!” moments about myself. I was explaining to someone why I would not be able to continue a service project.  I told her I was concerned I would not be able to be as consistent as I had in the past, and wanted to make way for someone who could devote the time I thought was required.  She explained that she was experiencing issues with other volunteers, and that my service had been great.  That even with someone new, they always start off very active then trickle off.  She said I was very well-liked and based on past experiences did not think there would be a suitable replacement any time soon.

credit: Jeff Bauche._.·´¯)

Find your happiness

Now the reason that was important is because as I drove off I realized that when I evaluate my work, when I consider my efforts and contribution to anything, my default setting is negative.  It often does not matter how much or how little I have put into something, I find a way to find it inadequate.  In all likelihood, that kind of thinking festers into other areas of my life.  Perhaps my seeming inability to commit is related to the ideas I have that I will not stack up.  Perhaps my unwillingness to take risks or opportunities is because I think “it has already been done” or someone is already doing it, and better than I can.

I was reading an article on RealAge.com (website from Dr. Oz and Dr. Rozien, Oprah’s guys) about happiness some time ago and it read:

Some researchers estimate that as much as 40% to 50% of a person’s capacity for happiness may be genetically predetermined. And although that means some lucky people may start off with a greater propensity for happiness, it’s no guarantee they’ll lead a charmed life. Fortunately, evidence suggests that even the gloomiest of us can learn to be happier.

Now, it is not that I believe any appearance of a happiness deficit in my life is handed down from my parents; what struck me is the notion that for some of us the how’s and why’s of happiness may not be automatic.  That means I have to work harder.  I have to change my default setting so that moment to moment I assume and trust that I am the bright, capable person I appear to myself and on paper to be.  Sure, my accomplishments may not be the same as someone else’s, nor will the trappings of happiness or success look the same from person to person.  It is never the actual circumstances that cause our joy or discontent, it is how we allow ourselves to feel about those circumstances that cause the joy or discontent.

Going forward, if your default setting is not what or where you would want it to be, you might practice with me.  Practice trusting yourself and your abilities.  Practice believing that only good things come to you and only good things come from you.  Train your thoughts to see yourself rightly: a great friend, a solid worker, an inspired son or daughter, a Champion.  We are worthy … today … Right Now!!